How many watts does it take to murder your own family?

One. One as in Christopher I so did not do that Watts.

Chris Watts is a man. Who was a born on a day that I do not care about. And a year that I wish I could time travel to soooo that I can clock-

Out of the clock selling business. I am running out of time. Chris did a thing. And it was bad.

Very bad. He’s an excellent actor though. Meryl Streep ya better clutch them Oscars, girl.

Chris’s family went missing. Chris was sad. 😔 he had no idea what could have possibly happened. So he was confusion.

Here is an exclusive interview:

We shall call the fella questioning Chris. Jimmy Buffet

Jimmy Buffet: So, Mr. Watts, what happened to your family?

Chris: What family?

JB: Your wife, your children? They have been reported missing, dipshit.

Chris: ✨flabbergasted ✨ excuse me ☝️ I am not a dipshit. And secondly, I have never been married. Nor have I ever done reproduction.

JB: what.

Chris: I am a single man. I never had a wife or kids.

JB: Sir, what happened!?

Chris: Did you know that I can fit seventeen hot dogs in my mouth?

JB: Yeah? Well my sister can shove a lava lamp in her ASS.

Chris: Why and how do you know that?

JB: ……

Chris: I said, how would you know that?

JB: No. Bitch, this is my interrogation room. YOU are the one being questioned. ✨slams hand on table✨ gosh damn you Christopher!

Chris: What is this ‘Christopher’ you speak of?

JB: You… your name is short for Christopher.

Chris: NO It’s not!!!

….

Chris: Oh wait nvm it is. Idk

JB: so, do you know why you’re here?

Chris: I dunno. I thought I was getting my own reality show.

JB: Sir, you are a prime suspect in the disappearance of your family.

Chris: I told you! I have never been married or been in reproduction!!!

JB: What the fuck is your problem??

JB: FUCK THIS!

Chris: Oh. OH! He done did that.

Please it’s so ridiculous how this man has had “admirers” like what the hell is up with that?

Seriously though why do we sexualize men like this.. for what? He did an outrageously heinous crime and he gets called hot? Oh no. No.

Well this has been a post.

Off I go for now. 🔍L.W.

I am also sensing that someone wants to clock my ass. And it’s probably DENISE. Bring it on ya rustic yellow bell pepper.

🤍 bye. Please do not be anything like me. ( do not)