I do not have a husband. And I shall never take a husband. Because no. Cause what do you even talk about with a spouse?

Wife: so, baby, how much money do you have on life insurance? Because you can ENSURE my love for you.

Husband: why?

Wife: no reason baby.

Husband: k. So if I get clocked you’re looking at approximately $1.75 million dollars

Wife: I am so turned on rn

Husband: oh yeah? Are you thinking what I am a thinking?

Wife: mhm. So what kind of casket do you want?

Husband : oak… wait, what?

Wife: I said, what kinda baskets you muffin?

Husband: what.

So. There was a girl. She was a dumbass. She’s in college. And she went to google because her mind? Curious? Her enemy list? Increasing? Husbands killed? (Yet) zero. (Kidding😏)

There is this one guy, in Arizona.. who somehow got murdered there.

That is BRIAN. Brian did a thing.

It was super, super bad.

He yeeted his bff in a LAKE!? And then proceeded to marry his bff’s wife instead of just marrying her earlier instead so that they could have…. Relations like yes those kind of relations but that is gross to think about so Brian, my guy, dude, why?

This is what happens when you have penetrated a woman named DENISE.

Brian did not think. Ever. Not one day in his life. Lettuce pray for his… lack of courage and inability to not have any morals whatsoever because you know what he dipped his peppermint stick into Denise’s-

Sugar. And then he lured a man. To a lake. And said “hey, can you swim?”

And the man did swim. How? Cause he can swim and make pants float.

This will honestly all make sense later. So stay with me, people!

Perhaps I shall post something proper later. If context is needed, I shall provide.

This has been… a post. Four days and streaking. But I best get my ass to work.

💙L.W.